Surviving C-19 Day Five
April 5, 2020 8 AM
77 Days since first US infection.
Still breathing today, still symptom free, but allergies are coming on, the snow is melting now and the green returns to this hemisphere. The spring greening always brings allergies, minor for me, itchy eyes, and an occasional sneeze. Exactly how much terror does that inspire in others? In my son or his wife? In some stranger walking down the street?
Gaming is, and has been a big part of my life, all my life. The games sure have changed a lot. In the modern digital world I use games for neuroplasticity training. I cannot game live with others and do well, I cannot compete in MMO’s which require multitasking, and as such there is no social aspect to my gaming at all. I am never running around in a mob, participating in group activities inside some game environment. I have a variety of games but prefer turn based strategy for fun, with turns I can work through my multitasking issues, without them, in real time gaming, I will always be very slow, or doing the wrong thing at the wrong time, the eternal NOOB, thanks to my TBI.
In real time gaming I get quickly exhausted in single player on easy. In order to even play the newest types of games I require a six week or so learning curve depending on the complexity of the controller. In a game with a set of complex controls, like many older pc games, Doom, Hexen, Duke Nuke Em, Forsaken and many others, they were simply unplayable for me, too much multitasking. Turn based things like Sid Meyers Civilization games and modern turned based games like X-Com I can actually play. All the other games require muscle memory. I have to train my hands to recall what is what, over time, that lowers the tasking of my brain by shifting burden to my hands, which uses different part of the brain.
Last year I got RDR2; my learning curve for that game was two months, its controller is complex, and I had to learn it over and over and over. Most of the single player game is part tutorial, adding some new ability. Now I love this game, but not for the things it became renowned for. It became renowned for the extreme things a player could do, like murder of all sorts in horrific ways. I do admit for a fondness for burning the KKK whenever I find them in game myself. That is not what I like though, it’s the soundscape I love.
RDR2 burns my brain out pretty quickly and is a game I cannot play with others. It rapidly overwhelms my multitasking ability making me a weak link in any group online play. I do not use the game that way. For me I prefer riding, exploring and hunting as much for the soundscape as anything. The environment often sounds like actual wilderness, the animals all sound like animals, I can hear the coons at night in the bushes, different bird calls abound, a fox barks like a fox and a coyote like a coyote, deer bleat as they do in life, even more so if wounded like in actual hunting. Thus for a person like me who spent a lot of his life in wilderness and rural areas, hearing an Elk in the forest evokes deep memories of Elk in forest, and so allows me to feel like I am in a wilderness I am no longer fit to tread. It fires all those old neural pathways creating a nostalgic soundscape for me.
Since I got ill with RS I had not played that game. I tried yesterday only to discover I had forgotten much of the complex controller, it took an hour or so to recall how to ride, shoot, move and use menus. In the story line the main character, like Doc Holiday, contracts a lung disease. I suspect TB or Bubonic Plague, and as it goes along after mid game this character is wracked with bloody coughing fits. When Arthur, the reluctant outlaw main character, started hacking I thought, “I wonder how much the purchase and play of this game has declined under C-19?” How many people hear the game and fear the player is coughing? How many loved ones run into a room because they hear wracking coughsonlyto find it from a game? How many just stopped playing period, to close to reality now?
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Thank you, heroes.
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“Doctor’s grim answer to simple question. Dr. David Hepburn, an Intensive Care Consultant at the Royal Gwent Hospital in Wales, was asked by the UK’s Channel 4 to explain how someone can die after contracting coronavirus. His stomach-churning answer, in full.
“What we know is primarily the coronavirus cause’s respiratory failure. So when it spreads to the lungs, it causes what we call a pneumonitis, where the lungs become very wet and waterlogged inside. So the normal mechanisms that keep fluid in the blood break down. The little membranes and tissues and the bases of the lungs become porous, and that allows fluid to leak in from the circulation into the lungs, almost like drowning. One of the things we provide with ventilators is pressure, which pushes some of that fluid out and helps to keep the lungs open. So… people become exhausted because the work of breathing is so great that they basically become exhausted and die.””
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I hold a fundamental difference in viewpoint from our President, which is revealed in his words yesterday. Donald Trump, President of these United States, speaking ad lib at the C-19 press conference yesterday.
“I’m just saying we have to get this country open again Jeff, this country was not designed to be closed, so we have the greatest we’ve ever had and then we’re paying people to stay home? Well think of it, we’re paying people not to go to work, how about that? How does that play? And they want to go to work, they don’t want, they don’t want money. This country is great, but we’re paying people, this country has got to get back to work, that’s all I’m saying.”
Ad Lib speaking often reveals character traits and biases because the speaker is speaking stream of thought, it can give a glimpse into an inner psychology which otherwise goes unnoticed. Take a look at this phrase here “so we have the greatest we’ve ever had and then we’re paying people to stay home?” Basic English now, who is ‘we’ exactly in that sentence? Is it not the obligation of the President to represent the ‘we’ of all Americans? The ‘we’ he uses does not refer to Americans, but to his group, and the Americans are represented by the term people.
Thus its meaning is . . .
“so we, <<The Aristocrats, The Owners, the Wealthy>>
have the greatest we’ve<<The Aristocrats, The Owners, the Wealthy>>
ever had and then we’re <<The Aristocrats, The Owners, the Wealthy>>
paying people<< The American Citizen>>
to stay home?”
He echoes this exact line of reasoning in the next sentence as well, and almost a third time, but catches himself . . .
“Well think of it, we’re paying people not to go to work, how about that? How does that play? And they want to go to work, they don’t want, they don’t want money. “
This sentence breaks down the same way under the basic rules of English and illustrates again his notion of us<<The Wealthy Owner-Donor Class>>and them>>you and I and every American, All of the people he is supposed to represent. >>
“Well think of it, we’re <<The Wealthy Donor Class>>paying people <<The American Citizen>>not to go to work, how about that? How does that play?”
To me this reveals Trump’s frustration and that of the Oil magnates he had just met with, with their financial losses due to social distancing restrictions. It reveals a frustration that he and others are losing money and that the people’s deaths only equals a loss of resources to them, that they seem themselves as “we” and us citizens as “them”. Trump does not see himself as an American, but as an American Owner, and Americans are just another resource for profit.
The lockdowns and distancing are a new reality that means the owners will lose a lot of wealth. The wealthy donor class cannot make money from our labors if we are all at home, and they are pissed off about it. Church’s cannot drain the citizen’s pockets and the citizen might realize how much churches take from them in both time and money. Given time forced not to go they might examine why they did before. This would be framed as “They might lose faith!” Quarantines make for a loss of profit for churches. I will consider ‘the faith’ the moment it can be shown empirically to be true, otherwise it’s a set of ideas without evidence you cling to, for your own reasons. It is not my affair nor the affair of our United States, but rather the problem of the churches themselves.
I see the situation rather differently. I think in early January the “Alert” call began to sound, and the moment it did every American was drafted, but few knew and understood that at that time. Every American is now serving the Nation by maintaining social distancing, we have to fight the bug by isolation. The front lines are essential workers: Doctors, Nurses, EMT’s, Firemen, Military, health care workers, laundry workers, janitors, shelf stockers, warehouse workers, drivers, truckers, security workers, grocers, butchers, farmers, store clerks, gas station attendants and fast food workers.
THIS IS WHERE MY TABLE WAS, BUT WORDPRESS FUCKED ME, MAKING THE BLOCK DOMINATE THE ACTUAL DOCUMENT. THUS WHEN I CREATED A TABLE FOR THIS DOCUMENT, AND SAVED IT, AND SAVED THE DOCUMENT ITSELF, THE DOCUMENT WAS NOT CONSIDERED SAVED. THE NEXT DAY WHEN I OPENED THE TABLE BLOCK AND USED IT FOR THE NEW NUMBERS, IT UPDATED EVERY INSTANCE OF THE TABLE GLOBALLY, AND THUS EVERY DAY WAS FUCKING JULY 11TH. FUCK YOU VERY MUCH WORDPRESS FOR MAKING YOUR BLOCKS OF MORE IMPORT THAN THE DOCUMENT I PLACED IT IN.
Much of that list is people our society routinely ignores or thinks less of. A society that considers those occupations as less noble. Those Americans are all front line infantry now in a viral war in our homeland. We, every last one of us, are all draftees in the war on C-19, an invisible lethal opponent about which we are largely ignorant and learning about in real time. We are draftees and our mission is to stay the hell at home and let the front line grunts do their work, otherwise you compromise their missions. We are a citizen’s defense force against C-19, not people being paid not to work.
If this greater ‘we’ of us, we fellow draftees in the war on C-19, whether fighting the bug by staying home or on those front lines, is not the ‘we’ our president is talking about, then why is he our leader? Why would ‘we the people’ want the leader of another “we” to be our leader? How could that ever represent us? We could not have chosen more poorly for president if we had elected a Goofy for the office.
In updating to the table I had an issue with my TBI, as such my confidence of the numbers on this day are not as good. They are ballpark, but I had delted and recreated from other saves what I deleted, and while it seems the same to me, I cannot guarantee that.
While I worked today 3,807 people died, of those 1,034 we’re my fellow Americans.